careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
