I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
is it fun? or sober?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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