why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
