Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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