what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
