So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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