Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
