I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
