is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
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