ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
