can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
