he wants to bone in the snuggie
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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