Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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