Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
