I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
