I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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