Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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