ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
