based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
