So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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