so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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