He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
