if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
