I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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