Say something about gay babies.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
