I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
