What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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