right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
