no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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