Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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