You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
