just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
