She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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