so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
