Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
