Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
True but thats because hes a fetus.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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