I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
