Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
two words...techno handjob
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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