I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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