just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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