Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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