im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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