a queef is a wish your heart makes.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
