Nicole vs. Life
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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