that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
