we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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