Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
