and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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