Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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