I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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