There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
