Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
